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Goldie Lookin Chain Interview

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Goldie Lookin Chain

It has been announced that Welsh rap legends Goldi Looking Chain will performing on the main stage at the Strawberry Fields festival 2014. We managed to grab them a few hours before they where due to go on stage at Leicester’s O2.

As i poked my head around the door to their dressing room i was slightly nervous and I had the strangest feeling this interview wasn’t going to go as planned, so it was no surprise to me when my suspicious turned out to be correct.

However the interview was pure gold and the guys where so funny that I could have hung out all night with them and if their music career ever ends, they will definitely have a spot on the Saturday night stand-up circuit.

Warning: This interview has bad language and some very poor jokes so if you’re offended easily then I advise you don’t read on and if anyone from GLC is reading this, well I tried my hardest to work out who’s welsh accent was who’s :-)

LM: This is Leicestershire Music and today I am here with Goldie Looking Chain – First of all guys just to let you know that this interview won’t be broadcast but it will be printed pretty much word for word. So now that I have let you know, could you please introduce yourselves.
MG: Maggott
BL: Billy
AD: Adam
EG: Eggsy
MK: Mike
RH: Rys

LM: Firstly whats with the tour guys?
MG: Well its 10 years since we started doing live gigs……
BL: So we thought erm….. why bother stopping
MG: Its as simple as that – why bother stopping, unless you either die or you cant do it anymore – Then its pointless not doing it.
EG: There’s two settings in the band
MG: Yer there’s two setting
EG: Setting one is fun and laughter and setting two is anger and hatred
RY: And if you don’t tour you are on setting two all the time.
MK: You see as you tour over the years you either feel happy or have a complete breakdown.
EG: Watch this……who’s having a good time.
Everyone: Yeerrrrr (everyone shouts rather unconvincingly)

LM: So are you guys continually touring or do you take breaks?
EG: Yer 15 years I haven’t been home or seen my family for.
MK: Well it’s our 10 year anniversary tour so maybe that’s not true.
EG: We did take a year out last year but we have been doing lots of festivals and concerts this year (everyone laughs)

LM: You have a new album out can you tell me a bit more about it?
EG: Well its called Kings of Kaerleon and it’s the album of the year.
AD: Yer its one of the greatest albums in the world.

LM: And who writes your material? is it a joint venture?
EG: Steve Lamack and Joe Whiley
MB: Whats that guys name again?
EG: Tom Lennon and Andrew McCartney
BL: Jim Broadbent
RY: Yer Jim Broadbent he’s alright
BL: He’s all right he is and he’s coming tonight.
AD: Funny enough Alison Moyet did so some backing vocals on this album
LM: Are you winding me up?
EG: No that is real

LM: So I take it by that answer you all write your own material
BL: It just comes out
EG: Its like a musical weegie board and we just channel the music
MB: Yer and it just comes out and its like a big momping music and its just wicked
EG: Momping music – that makes sense
MB: yer it does
EG: And that’s what we do and we love it.

LM: Maggott you did Big Brother didn’t you?
MG: Yes for my sins

LM: Did that change things for you?
MG: No it didn’t alter a fucking thing, I was expecting to go to Hollywood.

LM: So what was it like in the Big brother House?
MG: It was fucking shit
EG: We did go to Hollywood though – remember that hotel in Swansea?
MG: Yer – Welcome to Hollywood, it was written on a broken mirror
RY: Three inches of water next to a plug socket and we had to shower in it.
MG: Yer someone had written on the mirror ‘Welcome to Hollywood’ and there where all fucking electrics coming out of the ceiling and there where fucking holes in the walls. That’s the closest I’ve ever been to Hollywood – but I like that -because its what I knows- (Everyone laughs)

LM: I knew this interview wasn’t going to be easy (Everyone laughs again)
MG: Well you’ve caught us at a funny stage, because as you can see we are reserving our energy for the stage.
MB: Like a pack of lions
AD: Yer we are – where basking now in the sun and we will go hunting soon.
BL: Its like…….. what’s that film with Sean Connery and the submarine?
LM: Red October!
BL: Yer its like that, we’re on silent running now so we don’t get caught by the enemy and we just keep the sonar on.
MG: Stand by setting
BL: Then you arm the nuclear warheads
AD: Then we go out there and blow the fuckers up.
RY: Last night we had a dimmer switch in the dressing room and you could turn the lights down and see out into the crowd.
LM: (Looks puzzled)

LM: Have you sold many tickets for Leicester?
MG: Yes 5, 6 or 7000
AD: Probably about 8000
BL: Yer it’s a big show tonight. Jim Broadbents dropping in and he’s got a massive entourage.
MB: Contrary to popular opinion though, we don’t actually sell any tickets
MG: We never know until we get out there.
AD: The biggest news we have had this week is that science fiction writer Philip K Dick is coming over to Coventry.
EG: So we’re pretty excited about that.
LM: (Looks puzzled and unconvinced)
RY: This is Graham – Graham walks into the dressing room.

LM: Hello Graham
GR: Hello I’m Graham the Bear – I’ve just had a shower and a wank
LM: (Thinks to self ‘it wasn’t such a good idea shaking hands’)
MK: Ohhhhhhh
GR: I just gotta get it out my system before I go on stage.
EG: This will be published you know
GR: Oh I didn’t mean that obviously
RY: Grahams already had two twosomes on this tour.
MG: Its should be a threesome
GR: I’ve only ever had two twosomes – None of this is true by the way

LM: So have you ever been to Leicester before?
EG: We’ve played this venue before….years ago……but it wasn’t O2 then.
AD: It was all a blur, but as soon as we walked in we knew we’d been here.
MG: I came here in a friend’s Mini once all the way from South Wales and it had no bumpers on.
LM: (Looks puzzled)
MG: We came to see my mate who was studying to be a doctor at Leicester University because I think they have a very good Doctor school here. So yer me and my friend Mark came from South Wales in a Mini with no bumpers.
RY: And the rest of the story
MG: That’s it (everyone laughs)

LM: So you guys must do this purely for the love and not the money?
MG: Well we certainly don’t do it for the money.
EG: This must be the best interview you have ever done?
LM: Well I have only ever done one slightly similar to this one
EG: Who was that then?
LM: Oh it’s a local band who where a bit of a barmy bunch as well.
AD: Who was that then Kasabian?
LM: No not Kasabian
RY: Whatever happened to Kasabian
LM: Oh they went super big
EG: So do they still live local?
LM: I believe so yes, but it’s a huge castle with steel gates. (Everyone laughs)

LM: So will you be doing any festivals next year?
AD: Well the festival circuit is looking very good next summer.

LM: So which festivals will you be playing next year?
AD: Oh none yet
BL: Lets just say Glastonbury is on the cards
MB: But don’t put any money on that
BL: Well its rumored its going to be a two hour set with fireworks.

LM: So do you enjoy still being in the lime lite?
MG: You know this is the best job in the world and I think we must have had some magic postion or something. Yes it’s very tiring and sometime it can get a little bit fraught and you know I’m a slave to my shoulders, fucking hell they kill – But there are harder ways to make a living and less enjoyable.
BL: There are easier ways to make a living
MG: So its great to be sat in a small dressing room with no air and legends on the walls (posters) and some beer in the fridge.
EG: It’s just like having a big family.

LM: I didn’t see a tour bus when I came in, where is it?
MG: Well we only do high level tours now so we stay in hotels over night
EG: Well after this we have to go to Hatfield in a minibus to do a late night gig and then we go to Coventry.
MG: You know we are probably the hardest working men in show business, you can put that in your article.

LM: You know I usually have this crib sheet stored away in my head full of questions – but it has all gone to pot.
MG: Oh that’s OK ,have a beer
EG: Oh that’s OK, we just talk a load of shit anyway.
MG: Hay no worries, you’re a tonic – You’ve broken up the monotony of waiting to do the gig.
EG: Yer we’re not aloud to talk to anyone else
MB: Right now we are waiting for our support act but it looks like he’s not going to turn up.
EG: You don’t play any instruments do you?
LM: No
RY: Do you DJ or anything?
LM: No
MK: What about the spoons?
LM: No
MK: Well if you fancy going up and telling some jokes or something…….
EG: Have you seen any Quentin Tarantino movies?
LM: Yes
EG: Well just go and explain a load of them to the audience for half an hour.
BL: Yer tell em about the Royale with Cheese or something
EG: Tell em about that suitcase, the one that know one knows what’s in it.
BL: Golden dildos
LM: It’s the guys soul – that’s why he has a plaster on the back of his neck because supposedly that’s where the devil takes your soul from (the back of your neck)
EG: Oh that’s nice I like that, I’ve never heard that before.
BL: No it was a huge accident he had with a golden dildo.
EG: Oh I hate those golden dildo accidents.
AD: You see you just explained that really well so go out and do it to the audience about pulp dildo’s
MK: I tell you what, we’ll give you fifty quid if you go out on stage for half an hour.
GR: Cash
MK: Next door there is a room with loads of hot food and ready meals, so you can have fifty quid and as much food as you can eat.
LM: No thanks
EG: Are you sure
LM: Yes
MK: Well don’t say we didn’t offer.

LM: So is the album selling well?
MG: Oh its massive – top of the welsh hip hop charts
MK: Yer the biggest welsh hip hop album this year
MG: Yer as soon as it was released it went straight to number one and stayed there.
LM: Was it the only one?
MG: No, no, no and its going top of the national charts
AD: You wouldn’t believe the amount of Welsh hip hop that comes out but it’s all in Welsh which kind of limits your audience.
LM: I went to HMV yesterday to see if I could get I copy to get it signed but they didn’t have any.
MG: Ahhhhh well there you go then, it must have sold out.
MK: We only pressed about three thousand and the rest are MP3 sales.

LM: So have you found that the MP3 market has widened your audience?
EG: Its easier to rip off and people don’t buy music anymore.
AD: But to be honest you can’t blame them, I mean if you’re a kid and got no money, what are you going to do – pay for it or rip it off.
MG: This is what I can’t get my head round, people seem very content to listen to music through shit computer speakers or people listening to music through a mobile phone speaker, but it doesn’t do the music justice. When you can go to Richer Sounds, buy a pair of speakers for £30, and listen to the true dynamics of the music.

LM: So who do you listen to when you’re in the car:
MG: I don’t drive

LM: Ok what about when you are wearing headphones?
MG: You know I tried walking down the street once with a pair of headphones on and I just can’t do it, I loose all of my senses.
MK: Maggott likes a bit of drone – You like a bit of Drone don’t you Marg.
MG: well it might be a big surprise to people to know but yes I do and I like experimental music as well
LM: Like……..
MG: Gristle, Cod but that’s not important.
MK: We went into a pub up the road called The Dry Dock and they had the worse selection of music ever.
RY: Yer and we put TLC on
GR: Yer and that was shit.
MG: Cut my finger last night mate
EG: Blood everywhere
MG: But that’s rock and roll and if I’m not bleeding by the end of a gig then its not been a good one.
LM: (Looks puzzled)

LM: So Who are the hard ones in the band?
EG: I’m pretty hard
BL: He’s not hard
EG: What I do is put powered glass in people’s food
BL: Yer he’s just nasty though
MG: I tell you who I’m nasty against, twats that wear their sunglasses in doors (directed at Billy) He looks like a member of the fucking Eagles.
BL: You mind your own fucking business
MG: Why what are you going to do?
BL: I’ll punch you out
MK: Just because we have company doesn’t mean you have to show off.
EG: Shut your mouth dad.
MG: Who’s having a good time?
Everyone: Yeerrrrrrrr (a reference back to the two settings of the group)

LM: So have you had a lot of media coverage for this tour?
AD: You know what happened earlier? I had a leading Liverpool radio station phone me for a live telephone interview (everyone laughs). So I did about an 8 minute interview on air and the DJ said at the end ‘So you’re on at the Liverpool O2 academy tonight, what time?’ and I went ‘No its Leicester’ and it just went deadly quite before he hung the phone up.
LM: Is that true
AD: Yes it is
GR: And we’re doing something for children in need as well – I tell you its all fucking happening.
MG: We still got it you know

LM: Final question guys – When you tour now, who are your audience?
MG: Well its just a mixture, a massive tumble dryer of alcohol and tits.
EG: Yer alcohol and tits
MG: No to be serious, it’s amazing – Touring is brilliant – Obviously we have the people that saw us tour 10 years ago, but now their bringing there kids and other family members and reliving the magic and as long as they are having a good time then it is absolutely brilliant.

LM: I think that is the most random interview I have ever done so thank you to you all.
Everyone: Thanks, Cheers, Brilliant……………

You can find out more about Goldie Lookin Chain by visiting their website HERE or check out their new single ‘Baneswell Express’ below.

Interview By Danny O’Callaghan

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